I shouldent have typed before what I put in this journal my appolagies for beong like that. All I can say is i was hysterical and I was also ill and you know my depression is bad. I managed to catch a few hours nap and re saw it. Im not saying I dont feel how I said I did but I will tough things out no matter what happens.
Even if the worst with

happens, I owe him better respect that typing up crap like this Im sorry everyone. No matter how hard and dire things have gotten at times, the hurt and pain and upsets. With you i found bliss and heaven and a soulmate
Im gonna crash again now, So I can think straighter on a less tired mind.
Sorry everyone